Old So What

  When it comes to disgusting TV commercials, BUT the all-body deodorant ads have supplanted everything else!   Yikes! Actors with screen size shots of their armpits, and spraying their nether regions by putting the product down their pants. Help, I’ve died and gone to the hell of bad taste! I don’t want to see your armpits, or bask in the splendor  of whatever you have that should be covered up. Spare me, please. Spray on your own time, in your own space.   I don’t need a demonstration.   I get the idea.   Keep your graphics to yourself! And I’m not so sure that all that spraying and rolling-on of deodorant product is so good for you. Try washing, and a discreet limiting of deodorant to the parts of your body that you know for sure from actual experience tend to smell without help from a deodorizing product. Think for yourself.

  Are here and aren’t they lovely and hopeful? They come to us while it’s still chilly almost as if they’re saying, “We can’t wait, we want life now!” If spring is hopeful, then surely cherry blossoms are their cheerleaders.   We love these exquisite visions of happiness.

  If thou of fortune be bereft And in thy store there be but left Two loaves—sell one, and with the dole Buy hyacinths to feed thy soul. This version of a famous poem appeared in The Century magazine in August 1907 by James Terry White, under the title “Not By Bread Alone” (My mother [Virginia’s] favorite, oft-quoted poem)

  Maybe you haven’t heard of it because it hasn’t been advertised…a lot. Because of the cost.   It’s just too costly.   It’s a good book. Short and to the point. It’s a book with humor and just a touch of occasional pathos. Or you could call it life with all its slices. I still think it’s funny and it still makes me l augh and I wrote it! You can get it (the book, that is) in various forms from Amazon. (One of my favorite places to shop!) My book was edited by my talented cousin. It’s a quick read, actually is called, “A Quick Read.   Short-short Stories” Perfect as a gift. Perfect to read at the doctor’s office or anytime you’re stuck waiting. It contains no questionable language. And I think the on-line version is really inexpensive. So go for it…I would appreciate it very much! Readers of this blog should stick together.

  Be happy today because Blue is your color!                                  The FlabberGasp

  To leave jars of things, such as mayonnaise, too near the edge of counters. Why I started to do this I haven’t a clue.   Just another one of life’s mysteries. But that’s how the oily stuff got all over the carpet, never to be removed completely, anyway, by me. So, keep track in the kitchen or wherever.   Items on the edge almost always find their way to the floor. They like it better there.

An internationally, well-respected actor is now appearing in a film on a YouTube channel. I won’t say his name… I won’t name the other stars or cast… Because I want to shield him. Why? Because he was a rare talent, a one-of-a-kind, and one of everyone’s favorites.   Now deceased, when he was young, he was truly beautiful…OK, then, handsome complete with a charming accent.  (Maybe most accents seem charming to us, Americans, I admit.) Now, as an older actor, he was still charming, but clearly should no longer be playing romantic leads. When a close-up view of the back of his head appeared on the screen, wearing a large bald spot, really large, toupee-style large, then I became angry. The following scenes had the toupee in place, that’s how we know for certain that this lapse was a giant mistake. It’s clear that no one on-staff at the film or in his employment had looked out for his interests, for his dignity, which I am certain included concealing missing hair. There is us...

 It's easy to help friends and love ones with what they need, whether it's doctor's appointments or home chores. But when it comes to our own life, we put things off and procrastinate.  How often have you said, "I'll do it next week," only for months to go by and the issue is left unresolved? The more we help and care for others, the more we tend to neglect ourselves. My advice: would you allow your loved one to put off a doctor's appointment or live with any issue longer than they needed to? NO! So do yourself a favor, and train yourself to make time to focus on improving your own life. Even if you need to think that you are doing it because the other person wants you to, you will be better off in the end. 

  Where are the directions? If a hair straightening appliance comes with a set of directions, the pamphlet small without much detail though it is, why not life?   Why doesn’t your life come with a set of directions, guidelines, something to go by, to hold onto when things are questionable and a little scary? If my grandmother were here right now, I would have so many questions for her, but I, myself, being just ten years away from the age that she died, she might expect that by now I would have all, or most, of the answers, which I don’t. I even forget the questions. I do know for sure that we are breakable.   We are eggs traveling around without our protective egg cartons, lurching through life, haphazardly skating along. We expect the best to happen to us, but at some point, in our lives we realize that the worst is usually hovering close by, always keeping us in its sight. And, so keeping that in mind we go through people in our life, carelessly tossing the...

  To not go near your front door, side or rear door for that matter. I do this by making a buzzer noise when she gets too close to any exit. I try to make the sound nasty enough to dissuade her, but not so bad as to scare her to death. It works, but you must be consistent in doing this.

  Here’s where I suggest that you ask your doctor first. And remind you that I am not a medical person or physical therapist, just passing along what works for me. Then with his/her OK, Pass GO and proceed to YouTube to research some exercises for Balance . Keep looking until you find some that you like enough to do on-and-off all day, every day.   Try them out. Hold on to the kitchen counter while you practice. I don’t like them either BUT they’re much better than falling down all the time, which gets old quick. Apparently, you have to retrain your body to know its place in space.   Not outer space but this space, your space (according to a physical therapist with a channel on YouTube.) What do you think? Is it worth a try? Write back and let me know.   Oh, and remember to lift up your feet.

  And overfeed my cats. I don’t wish to be around Anything that is hungry.

  If you read my book, A Quick Read: Short-Short Stories , then you have at least an idea. These dramas are addictive!  Really, maybe I should get a life, but I look forward to the story line, the actors, the sets, the costumes, the smallest details which have all been included just for me! And everything is more than well done, it’s almost, yes, almost, perfect.   All of which show: care, expense-not-spared, sensitivity to the viewers, extraordinary imagination, above- and-beyond writing, acting and directing. It's nice to think that there are still creative, bodies of pure talent in this world, at least in Korea. These dramas end with a “Thank you” to “our” audience. I rest my case. P.S. The one flaw and the only reason for the almost perfect score instead of perfect, is that in order to grant the viewers’ wish for a happy ending, sometimes the endings don’t really make sense, as when the heroine swallows poison, gushes up blood, but ends up just fine! How...

but when you make yourself laugh, is when you know for sure you’re funny. 

  In the 1950s and early 1960s (in that time zone), CBS Television centered in New York City, had an extensive library of black-and-white films.  Probably the best library in the world.  I know because I’m sure that I viewed most of those movies myself. Then in the 60s, I think, the library was divided up, with parts of it sold off to other markets (meaning other television regions where the population can receive the same television/radio station offerings).   Something that I always found unfortunate because it dispersed a treasure trove of some of the greats in black-and-white.   These films played a role in the morals of my time, at least for me. Because between the opening and closing credits, we got to view film as a microcosm of civilized behavior as it should be.  In other words: good triumphed and was rewarded, and evil got its well-deserved punishment. That’s it, that was the consistent, enduring lesson. It was born in the studios of Hollywood...

  Apparently on my car, for example, if the steering wheel is not left in the straight position , when the ignition is turned off, the car may refuse to start.  The key will not even go all the way into the ignition which seems locked. To remedy this occurrence should it happen to you, just try to turn the steering wheel.   It may not appear to move but the attempt, the pushing back and forth on the wheel, will solve the problem; the key will go in and the car will start. I learned this on the phone from a very knowledgeable agent at AAA! Followed up by the confirmation of the head mechanic at my car dealership.

  IF aliens really wanted to get in touch with humanity, then they could just send us a text (or an email).  It doesn’t have to be all that complicated, does it?

  If somewhere along the way you’ve lost (through no fault of your own), the love of your life, then that should definitely be considered a mitigating circumstance to your faults.

  Wasn’t I lucky? Actually NO.   The polio shot itself and what I may have caught as a germ of polio caused me to contract the disease. That’s what the doctors thought.  I will never really know. Did the shot contain live polio?  Again, I will never know. Other children around this time, who had gotten the Salk Vaccine shots, contracted the disease, too. If it was because of the same reason. Well, guess along with me. Where I lucked out is that my doctor (a specialist) put me in the hospital, and in traction immediately.   I couldn’t even go home first to get anything such as books or clothes, or playthings. Because the Children’s wing was full up in the local hospital, they put me in the lounge, on an adult floor, with a public telephone booth, so I was usually not alone. Mostly it was boring and despite the booth, lonely.   I especially missed being around other children. (I was eleven.) Before I continue, perhaps I should explain that “tr...

  Taking out the garbage and recyclables! I am not kidding. I’s a big production.   It’s downright scary if you think about it. First, I pray that I won’t fall down. Next, I wait till there is enough light outside. Then, I put my cell phone and its carry purse around my neck, so should something actually occur I can call my cousin (to come and gather me off the pavement). Then, I set out slowly, aware of my surroundings. I use a lightweight walker for this that has a life of its own and tries to speed up at the end of my slightly slanted driveway. Sometimes this turns into a social event with people on the sidewalk, at the end of the driveway, with dog leashes, or children’s little hands in their hands. But usually not, unfortunately. I’m always glad when this is a fait accompli! Then, later, I have to strategize the trip back. It would almost be worth getting re-married so I would have a good solution to this.

  Chocolate milk enhances all food:    Savory, or sweet food, chocolate milk just makes it taste better.   Honestly, for most chocolate lovers I suspect:   We love Chocolate Milk. Invented by Sir Hans Sloane, an Anglo-Irish physician, naturalist and collector in the late 1600s. (His history is fascinating!)

  you have not been absent from the planet, or living on the very fringes of it, so, therefore you are acquainted with the actors (meaning actresses, too) that I’ve written about so far.  If this is of no interest to you, please let me know through this blog, I don’t wish to waste your time. However, if you do find this topic valuable, please let me know that, too. SO, since this may be my last entry on the subject, I feel free to add my favorite actor, and that’s saying a lot! People just adore this man. Johnny Depp One of the most gifted actors of our time. Go see the film, “Minamata,” starring and produced by Mr. Depp as the American photo-journalist, W. Eugene Smith.  Go see the film, “Minamata.”   It’s so much more than just a motion picture.

  A long time ago, I had a niece with a car.   It was dark blue, a very nice model… But it got old as cars do. It could only run for a short period of time before it stopped dead. Now my niece had a trade in lined up with the car dealer.   Not wishing to miss this opportunity, she had the car towed to the hill just behind the car dealer, released the brake, and let gravity take its course. At this point only steering and the brake were required. Down the hill the blue car flew. The car dealer got in, and off the blue car zoomed for a very brief, but satisfying trip of a couple of feet to the show room. This was my niece with a face of an angel, and her brief criminal career.  

  It was not lost on me that I chose to start to write in earnest after my relatives, who were writers, were either in mental decline or dead. I obviously didn’t want any comparisons to turn up. There was one person about whom the following story revolved. About whom my entire world revolved at the time. It was my mother, of course. This particular story began on the morning of The Interview, an ordinary enough occasion for young girls in the 1950s who wished to enter Polite Society. As defined by people who considered themselves to be socially superior, thus allowing them to set standards of behavior for everyone else. I was 14 at the time, just slightly pretty, and exhibiting a beginning glimpse of attractiveness to come. We were late as usual. (I’m certain that when she was dying, my mother told God, “WAIT, I’m not ready yet!”) I never actually called her Mother, but rather, “Mommie” until like a slap across the face, she told me that I was too old to be calling...

  When you use a cane or a walker that you know what you’re doing.  I can tell you that you don’t from personal experience.  BUT there are videos out there (try YouTube) that can help. They can give you tips that will keep you from tripping all over yourself, as I almost did until I watched the demonstration.  Still, it is easy to trip.  So, take your time in this and everything you do.  After all, what's the rush?  You have all the time in your world.

  Have you heard of dead or dying malls? By the time you read this you’ll probably have to look up the word “mall” on-line, on-phone, on something. Malls, those places you used to go to buy things.  Some things you didn’t even know that you wanted. There was a feeling of anticipation, something good was about to happen.  Some discovery was about to be made. I never-ever get that feeling when I order on-line.   I get a feeling of dread knowing that I’ll get something messed up, some code number inverted.   (That’s why I wait for my youngest cousin to come over and ask her to do it for me.   She’s not full of dread.   She likes it! She’s a child of today. But I digress.) There’s no feeling of community when buying on-line. At least none that I can find. No bumping into people. No crowding, pushing, occasional sale-shoving, come to think of it… But now, at the time of writing this, there are tours on-line of dead, or dying malls.   If you e...

  There’s something about a monarchy that… America just doesn’t like. Oh, we ooh and aah about the beauty, precision, and discipline that the British military, for example, displays ceremonially. They are beyond compare, extraordinary, devoted. We’re impressed, maybe even fascinated but that’s as far it goes. What the British don’t see is the America spirit that can’t just go along because that’s the way it’s always been done.  Except for during war, Americans don’t like to just go along. We’re a feisty group. We still don’t want taxation without representation:  although now it comes from our own government. And all those other things that we didn’t want in 1776 at the founding of our nation, but now we have. For us we will always be a free and independent nation, that’s just the way we see it. 

  before we bought everything on-line (as we do now). On one of the most sweltering days of the year… My mom-in-law, my husband and I set out to buy a new car. It was not one of our better ideas. We went to a lot of new car dealers, and wore ourselves out. We were dripping with sweat and generally just frazzled. My husband sat in the front seat of what we hoped was our last stop. And, my mother-in-law and I climbed into the back seat. Suddenly the salesman blurted out, “I know just what you need.” And he reached from outside, down into the car… and turned on the radio.

  In our neighborhood there are a few houses that stand waiting for the owners to return.  Just waiting.  They’re not waiting to be taken over by squatters, ransacked, destroyed or hurt in any way.  They’re just waiting for the warmth of a human touch, their human; a light turned on, in the house, their light; and ownership that takes up where it left off. In our neighborhood, there are a few humans that stand waiting for the owners to return.   Just waiting.   A watchful eye is kept for our neighbors’ homes.

  Until you’re alone with no distractions, thinking your own thoughts…you will never know just who you are.  And if you don’t like that person…improve him(her).