Old So What

  I never minded sharing my husband, Ed, with his mother, because I knew that she was the only other person in the world who loved him as much as I did. After spending the day together (which we occasionally did), Mom and I were enjoying the late afternoon sitting and waiting for Ed to come pick me up. We had said everything there was for us to say; we had done everything there was to do (including having a mouthwatering lunch, so good because Mom was a cook who made ordinary recipes that tasted anything but), and so we were just sitting and waiting expectantly the way you do when you know you’re waiting for something or someone good. And sure enough, Ed showed up, and Mom and I were just like trees waiting for the rain or children waiting to be hugged. We turned our faces to the sun (or son in his mother’s case).   We were both so happy.   Ed had that effect. People liked him; strangers trusted him, asking for his advice whether in a grocery store or an art gallery...

  Your family usually starting with the eldest members begin to disappear. One by one they leave.   At first, because you’re young, you don’t notice all that much, but eventually it all catches up with you, until you are forced to notice. This usually happens around the time you realize that you are now getting old. You lose a spouse or a parent, in other words a significantly essential person. Where’d they go? Unfortunately, we know…so start now having a few extra caring people around you.   You can never have enough of those. Having a loving pet is good, too.   And don’t forget to provide a caretaker for that pet for when you, yourself, disappear.

  The father had been a minor player who had come up through the ranks by virtue of his sheer availability.   It was certainly not because of any moral fortitude or advanced level of thinking on his part. The son had been a popular college student, and then, minor entrepreneur, getting ahead whenever and however he could, who now worked on behalf of his father in whatever capacity was required. But now the work started to bother him, some of the loathsome work that he had performed on behalf of his father had left an indelible mark on his very soul. Some sins do not disappear and just go away, no matter how hard you wish them to. In order to forget the more troublesome issues, the son had slipped into some bad habits including drinking too much and too often.   Evaporating quickly was the self-delusion that the more loathsome deals he was dealing, and the wrong turns he was taking in life, were really alright. It would turn out OK in the end, he had told himself, ...

Let's face it, at some point we will all be faced with a doctor's appointment that will change our lives. This can be scary and completely overwhelming, but this tip can and will make things easier. Choose a close friend or family member to go to the doctor's office with you and be in the room when you hear the news. This "second set of ears" matters! While you are focused on the questions, "will I be okay," and "what do I do now," the other person can focus on what the doctor or nurse is saying. They can even take notes! While explaining the next steps in the course of action, most medical professionals will use examples of how others patients adapted to their new way of life, and those examples are important too and will not appear in the visit summary. "What did they say could help?" "What foods should I avoid specifically?" The other person can help you fill in the blanks of any parts you missed. Together you will have a...